What is a Mom?

Posted on May 26, 2004 
Filed Under Life

A friend just sent me this in email, and I read it just as I really needed to have a good laugh. Given my domain, I thought it appropriate to share here. I’ve seen variations of this but I don’t know where the credit should be.

I may have to ask Emily and Laini the same questions and see what they say. Then again, maybe I don’t want to know. :-)
The following are different answers given by school-age children to the given questions:

_Why did God make mothers?_

# She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
# Think about it, it was the best way to get more people.
# Mostly to clean the house.
# To help us out of there when we were getting born.

_How did God make mothers?_

# He used dirt, just like for the rest of us
# Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
# He made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

_Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?_

# We’re related.
# God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s moms like me.

_What ingredients are mothers made of?_

# God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world, and one dab of mean.
# They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they mostly use string. I think.

_What kind of little girl was your mom?_

# My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
# I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
# They say she used to be nice.

_How did your mom meet your dad?_

# Mom was working in a store and dad was shoplifting.

_What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?_

# His last name.
# She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

_Why did your mom marry your dad?_

# My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
# She got too old to do anything else with him.
# My grandma says that mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.

_What makes a real woman?_

# It means you have to be really bossy without looking bossy.

_Who’s the boss at your house?_

# Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dads such a goofball.
# Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
# I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

_What’s the difference between moms and dads?_

# Moms work at work and work at home, and dads just got to work at work.
# Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
# Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power cause that’s who you gotta ask if you want to sleep over at your friend’s.

_What does your mom do in her spare time?_

# Mothers don’t do spare time.
# To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

_What’s the difference between moms and grandmas?_

# About 30 years.
# You can always count on grandmothers for candy. Sometimes moms don’t even have bread on them!

_Describe the world’s greatest mom?_

# She would make broccoli taste like ice cream!
# The greatest mom in the world wouldn’t make me kiss my fat aunts!
# She’d always be smiling and keep her opinions to herself.

_Is anything about your mom perfect?_

# Her teeth are perfect, but she bought them from the dentist.
# Her casserole recipes. But we hate them.
# Just her children

_What would it take to make your mom perfect?_

# On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
# Diet. You know, her hair. I’d dye-it, maybe blue.

_If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?_

# She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of that.
# I’d make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.

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